Thursday, July 7, 2011

Run For Your Lives! Murderer Set Free By Imbecile Jury!

The endlessly bizarre saga of Casey Anthony’s murder trial finally came to an end yesterday when she was found not guilty of killing her daughter. First, apologies for this post’s title, which isn’t actually indicative of how I feel about the case, but is a near word-for-word replica of the actual headline used by the New York Post when Robert Durst was acquitted of murder, and I’ve been itching to find someplace to use it. Huzzah for sensationalism! Anyway, I’m not even going to try my hand at breaking down the how or why of yesterday’s verdict because the fact of the matter is, I’ve paid only a modicum of attention to this case and only just barely understand what the hell is going on to begin with (seriously, as of like two days ago I thought she had been driving around with her daughter’s body in the trunk of her car for a month straight). Besides, the important thing isn’t the verdict – because ultimately what’s done is done – it’s the fact that this case became such a huge topic of national interest to begin with.

Let’s clear something up, shall we? This wasn’t OJ Simpson all over again. OJ was a successful athlete, a spokesman, an actor. He was handsome, likeable, and charismatic. He was a star, and so his fall from grace was that much more shocking, and his trial captured our national attention as a result. Casey Anthony is a nobody. That’s it. I guess people think she’s attractive, but I don’t see it. At best, she’s more-or-less on par with any number of trashy-looking “actresses” in the adult film business (which is great, because that’s where she’s gonna be working in six months). Her biggest claim to fame other than possibly killing her daughter is stealing her friend’s checkbook and taking some slutty photos at a bar. Y’know what that makes her? (DRUM ROLL……) Exactly the same as half the girls in Florida!!!!

Yes, her “web of lies” was mildly intriguing. But how was it that this weird-looking nobody became so nationally important? It’s not like there aren’t other murder cases being tried every single day, and I’d even be willing to bet that this isn’t even the only one involving the death of a small child. Ultimately it’s because we all too frequently allow ourselves to be whipped into a frenzy by the Nancy Graces of the world. Sensationalism sells, and everybody knows it, especially the New York Post, as they proved with the above headline. (See what I just did there?)

My hope is that, in some weird kind of way, this turns out to be a blessing in disguise, that the people who were glued to their TV sets, watching every over-dramatized minute of HLN’s “analysis” of the Casey Anthony trial will look around now and realize that what they were watching wasn’t “news” at all, that they’ll all blink a few times and wonder to themselves what the hell they’ve just wasted a few months of their lives on. Believe me, as an unabashed fan of “Jersey Shore” I know that feeling extremely well. This thing you’ve been paying such close attention to for so many months? Not headline news, but carefully constructed TV drama. These experts? Not really experts at all, apparently. If they were, maybe they’d actually, y’know, still be practicing the law instead of talking about it on TV. You know HBO’s tagline, “It’s not TV, it’s HBO”? HLN’s should be “It’s not news. It’s HLN.”

1 comment:

  1. Well said. Couldn't agree with you more. And it's a pleasure to hear sane commentary on a story that has forced me to hear fake outrage from friends, family, coworkers and the media who don't understand what BEYOND A REASONABLE DOUBT means, and who have such screwed up priorities that they have way more passionate opinions about this bleeds it leads story than they have about unjust wars, global economic exploitation and other issues that actually affect all of us.
    -Justin Pugliese